3325 An Unholy Ribbing
on April 6, 2020
Chapter: Ranna's Fulcrum
Characters: Ain, Brandor "Firehair" the Barbarian, C'rhynne, Captain Safana, Captain Torvid Mak, Geliminous "Gimmy" Cube, Glon Smitharm/Bloodhand, Kob the Minotaur, Kurassa Elemental Wizard from the City of Haran, Omar, Ranna Goddess of Chaos and Cruelty, Sir Aeden, Sir Idries of Falconheim, Yapp Gnarll
Location: Elegrost Fields
You know if this whole thing ends with Ranna just smiting her own army I’d consider it totally worth it.
This is not Ranna’s day…
On the contrary, I’m having a field day with each update! XD
If she didn’t expect that guy to try and seize power, and Sahar to be incapable of stopping even the likes of him, I’m gonna have to go with the catcall crew. She’s pretty bad at this. Starscream could overthrow her.
OUCH! Man, that burn gave ME a hotseat and I’m not even in the same plane of existence as Ranna! 😀
Seconded: OUCH.
All the worse for being true.
t!
Guess his other business didn’t take that long… unless I’ve missed something?
It’s okay, Ranna, there’s always the backup team: Mr. Bean, Baldrick, Inspector Clouseau…
accompanied by Father Dougal
And never forget the unbelievable Benny Hill!
"Dougal, have you been studying the chart I gave you?"
"Oh yes, Ted! But Ranna really did bring a spider-baby this time…."
Yapp! C’rhynne! Idries! Brandon the Unexpectedly Erudite! So many old friends to greet all at once!
And Safana and crew made it to the battle on time. I wonder if Adina is just off-panel waving to her mom in the airship, or hiding behind Omar hoping Vanessa won’t see her.
Oh man, oh man. I had NO idea this was going to play out this awesomely after the surprise visit from the Cap! You are a genius, sir! 😀
Someone call Jeff Ross lets make this Roast official.
"Laughable attempts at humor."
Isn’t that the point? 😛
"They all laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they’re not laughing now!"
This is exactly what we all need right now! This is PRECISELY the comic all of us have to read! Staying the blazes at home. . .
. . . NOTHING like seeing the sheer chaotic goodness of Cap’n Fang, and Ranna, the Goddess of "my minions are idiots!"
"I killed or banished every underling who showed a glimmer of independent thought, and yet STILL I’m surrounded by idiots. It defies all logic!"
Ranna should have followed the advice and stayed at home. She’s obviously not cut out for the real world.
Sahar is… tied up at the moment.
Ranna’s face in that last panel. I have had days like that
And how do you best defeat the manipulative and the arrogant?
… pretty much like this, is how.
t!
For a goddess of chaos, she doesn’t really strike fear into her enemies’ hearts.
This. This right here. This is why you do a roll-call as soon as everyone gets on/off the bus. No nasty surprises when the person you’re looking for didn’t arrive. ?
Ranna, you have ass kissing minions. Ch’Thier has friends and companions.
And epic Statler-and-Waldorfing from the opposition. Seriously. Glon and C’rhynne together alone would be a nigh-unassailable phalanx of sarcasm. Safana alone would be! But…add Brandor and Kob? (Who are a couple, damn it, and no one can convince me otherwise?) Ain, showing remarkable promise on the snark volley front? Idries being Idries?
If it’s even conceivably possible to defeat Ranna with words, this is the A-Team to do it!
Oh yes, Brandor and Kob are a couple, I’m certain of it, too.
When they were back at Kob’s cave, hoisting a couple of tankards, their arms around each other’s shoulders while singing, you just know their romance had started.
I’m sending them a Melting Pot couple’s gift certificate, on principle.
I didn’t remember Kob and Brandor, for a moment.
When I saw Kob, I wondered how Turg the Minotaur had gotten down from the flying ship…it’s been a while since we saw Kob, hasn’t it?
Mr. Morris wasn’t joking, when he mentioned having to make notes about where each of his cast members are; I certainly appreciate the effort…plus, it is nice that some old familiar faces can make an appearance.
One thing I love here is the casual banter among all these disparate factions who, a generation ago, would have been grudging temporary allies at best. Not that all conflict among them is a thing of the past or anything, but it looks like the new world that will be built on the ashes of Ranna’s empire could be a more hopeful place than the old one ever was…
I wondering where (and how) Wolf and the other survivors under the Black Mountain are?
She is just dropping the ball all over the place, isn’t she? :p
On the contrary, she has a firm hold on it.
It just happens to be the idiot ball.
Yapp Gnarll? Isn’t it rather Ain? Looks like an orc, not like a gnoll.
Anyway, he’s got the best zinger. "God of poorly managed anger issues" indeed.
It is Ain speaking, and he’s the first name on the character list.
Yapp is behind Gimmy behind Ain.
I imagine that "ENOUGH!" sounded like Baal in the Diablo 2 intro to Lord of Destruction:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xp20voR11gs
Okay, Ranna –
Now would be the time to unleash that powerful left tit of yours.
t!
I am (sadly) reminded of the atrocious Tin Man of SyFy creation, and how one summons the flying monkeys…
I should not look this up, should I?
t!
Hey, no shaming. That’s where I keep my army of flying monkeys, too, Leorin!
I will simply ask you to view the following picture, and note the placement of the center-most tattoo.
https://images.app.goo.gl/TKi5CbLkYrZMa7TY7
Noted. Nauseous.
t!
It’s like a really unfortunately-placed T-shirt cannon.
Difficulty: not T-shirts.
I would have forgiven it if she had just shouted, "Fly, my pretties! Fly!"
I am very glad I put my drink down before I started reading the new comments. I would have had zero calorie cherry cola all over my laptop.
Talk about the perfect line for a spit take!!
Don’t get me wrong, seeing Wanna defeated would be very entertaining, but if she ultimately goes down only due to her own incompetence, that would be really disappointing. That would make all the heroes’ efforts be redundant. It would be like the ending to "Raiders of the Lost Arc".
There is difference: In "Raiders of the Lost Arc", the heroes were totally superfluous. Here, even if Ranna would only be defeated by her own incompetence, it would be just because the heroes forced her into big confrontation like this. So, totally not redundant. If the heroes wouldn’t do anything, she would take over the world without the opportunity to go down by own incompetence.
For comparison, look at Aragorn’s attack on Mordor. Was it redundant? The battle there was short and not really necessary … BUT if they didn’t emptied Mordor and allowed Frodo to get to mount Doom, Sauron would won.
Hell, the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" heroes were WORSE than superfluous. Without Indy and Marion and the chaos they sowed, Belloq would not have been able to dictate terms to the confused and disorganized Nazis. The Ark would have been flown straight to Berlin on that plane that Indy destroyed, and instead of being opened in the desert where it melted the faces of a few random Nazis, it would have melted Hitler’s face when they opened it for him in person.
Ohh, I can see a stress headache coming on! Mind you, she still has a lot of power, and the god-slayer and prophesied hero contingent, and all the mages are still to act, so I think there will be a lot more to come, but things are not starting out well for Ranna. I also have a sneaking suspicion that there will be some rebellious forces gathering on the immaterial plain while Ranna is distracted in the physical world.
Well, that’s the plan, isn’t it? This lot are commanding her attention, while the magic types are busy at Ch’Thier’s tomb.
I wonder if this means e.g. all Kali’s shit just won’t stop falling apart the entire time? ‘Great, that’s the third TV remote this afternoon’ etc.
While the jokes are funny on their own, it’s a little weird to see the big bad that’s effortlessly steamrolled the afterlife and the other gods with little to no issue suddenly be this… overtly incompetent.
I’m guessing the rest of the pantheon isn’t much better. :-/
Those other gods she steamrolled were never exactly hyper-competent themselves.
In fact, compared to Lolth or Gruumsh or Scorpii, Ranna actually has her shit together. Her only real competition is Ch’their, but family is always complicated…
In a way, it’s like real life where someone manages to become president or dictator, but once in position the foundation turns out to be rickety and unstable. What helped to gain power is often ill suited to keeping power.
If we want to be honest, its not entirely her fault. She couldn’t have expected Cpt. Fang taking out Jone, nor was she informed about the disposition of Sahar (for some reason.Heh). The rest of her incompetence could be the result of her frustration over the loss of Tempul, Greyfort and the Goblin Lands.
Writing it down like this I just realised, she didn’t win any fight yet. She conquered the Northrealm through surprise attacks, but as soon as people started to fight back, she was on the losing side… OK, maybe its her fault… 🙂
And this is why I play Lawful Good: it’s the only way to find competent help that won’t stab you in the back.
Maybe Ranna is being affected by her own sphere of power- chaos is not good or evil, and it’s hitting her attempts, and cruelty, … well, life is being very cruel to her right now LMAO
and btw- lol at all the funny comments, espec the exchange between Mucat and RS- spit take each time!
"Do I really have to specify in my portfolio: Goddess of Cruelty TO PEOPLE WHO AREN’T ME?!"
"Yes, yes you do!"
In these times of stress it’s great to enjoy a laugh.
Love your stuff
she is ribbed for our pleasure. *ba dum tss*
I’m sorry, but also not sorry.
Wait, *he* is her ‘Magical Offences’? If it was her, I would be offended
Best god-mocking since Spike taunted Glorificus back in Buffy Season Five.
"What are you the god of? Bad home perms?"
Oh hey, random changes in your army! Is that chaotic enough for you, Ranna?