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2857 Artifacked
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2857 Artifacked

on January 15, 2016
Chapter: The Serpent Awakes
Characters: Dame Gilda Kobold Seer, Halgra General of Jone's Righteous Army, Janet of the Cult of Jone, Jone "Half-Orc" WhiteEye, Sonja of the Cult of Jone
Location: Cave of the Cult of Jone

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Discussion (47) ¬

  1. Guest
    January 15, 2016, 12:26 am | # | Reply

    We didn’t see that coming at alllll! 😀 Awesome!

    • Hinoron
      April 1, 2021, 1:45 am | # | Reply

      Some of us did… waaay back when she was alive and stabbing her own followers.
      Girl is nucking futs.

  2. Guesticus
    January 15, 2016, 1:38 am | # | Reply

    Oh well, that clears that little uprising out

  3. Hogan
    January 15, 2016, 3:33 am | # | Reply

    Well, that went as well as expected…

    • Senok13
      August 24, 2024, 1:19 pm | # | Reply

      You doesn't needed to convert fanatics… They are already ready to die for you.

  4. Sedasa
    January 15, 2016, 5:50 am | # | Reply

    Yeah, this could get nasty.

  5. 3Xp4t
    January 15, 2016, 6:16 am | # | Reply

    Usually it’s the MORE followers you have, the more powerful you become. Makes me a bit curious how this will play out. Maybe, for Jone, the more followers who are in the Afterlife, the more powerful she becomes ..?

    I’m still looking for the final clue that definitely tells us if Jone is a free agent unto herself or if she’s a tool of Ranna … because it’s beginning to look like Jone is the weapon that will either take Ranna out or otherwise ‘distract’ her enough to be taken out. If it’s the latter, then Jone will be a goddess unto herself when the dust becomes blood-soaked enough to settle., somewhat.

    • souhjiro
      January 15, 2016, 12:24 pm | # | Reply

      Well, Jone is better as goddess of chaos than Ranna…

    • Pyre
      January 15, 2016, 4:32 pm | # | Reply

      Also Jone is all of the inherent capability for violence in the Orc species stuffed into a physical (kind of human) package. She doesn’t *need* followers.

      And since she was already attacking gods and getting away with it *without* a worship=power advantage….oh dear, that’s a prospect isn’t it?

      • ..even later..
        June 21, 2016, 2:18 am | # | Reply

        Don’t short change the lady…she has all the capacity for violence of BOTH of the two most successful war-like species cramed into her svelte frame … and only what she needs to exist in all other capacities….
        Everything that is in her is for war, save for the bare minimum needed to be a living mortal (not clear if she is one again, or is…something else)…at least that was the purpose the late, lamented, He-Who-Watches thought he had succeeded in, with her. Ol’ One-Eye’s special projects were all Human, as well as Ork.
        Don’t forget an entire half of her heritage!
        (Who is to say if she got any boost from the crowd following her, or not, before…The Twin Goddesses apparently had bodies and large crowds of worshipers the last time they were walking around…)

  6. Simon
    January 15, 2016, 6:38 am | # | Reply

    Reminds me of playing Call of Cthulhu games… the cultists are always first on the menu when the big guy wakes up. You have to be a very special kind of stupid to be a cultist of apocalyptic beings…

    • Earl Allison
      January 15, 2016, 7:39 am | # | Reply

      Perhaps this mockery of a Chick Tract will help 🙂

      http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/who-will-be-eaten-first/

      • EvilMidnightLurker
        January 15, 2016, 11:28 pm | # | Reply

        I prefer this one: http://foo.ca/wp/chick-tract-satire/darkseid/

    • TBeholder
      December 6, 2019, 12:31 pm | # | Reply

      The reasons vary. The result generally doesn’t.
      http://www.goominet.com/unspeakable-vault/vault/9/

  7. Heather Dale
    January 15, 2016, 8:02 am | # | Reply

    …. uh oh.

    • Nef
      January 15, 2016, 10:30 am | # | Reply

      …there goes the neighborhood. (Or cave dwelling Jone cultists.)

      I am going to miss Dame Gilda.

      • Cy'x
        January 15, 2016, 8:08 pm | # | Reply

        Yeah… 2nd best Kobold char… Rest in Pieces, Gilda.
        Hope she is n’t related to good old Fang…. or Jone can say her prayers.

        • Dee
          January 15, 2016, 9:10 pm | # | Reply

          Jone vs Fang–the mind boggles!

          • scarecrowd
            January 17, 2016, 8:31 pm | #

            Oh, that would be a truly exciting confrontatiin. But knowing Richard a little bit we may be sure that _everything_ will be exciting)))

  8. t!
    January 15, 2016, 9:31 am | # | Reply

    Drat. I wanted to see it. Still, I can gleefully imagine it.

    As always, the facial expressions on the silent characters are brilliant. Panel Two – that’s where they would have known, had they been paying attention. In fact, this strip works with no word balloons at all.

    t!

  9. AlyxVixen
    January 15, 2016, 2:43 pm | # | Reply

    When presenting a weapon to Jone, throw it at her feet, run and hide before she picks it up and uses it on you.

    • Nef
      January 15, 2016, 2:50 pm | # | Reply

      That will work? Jone has such a "monster under the bed" quality about her that I’d almost think if I hid, she’d already be in my hiding spot, give me the toothy Jone grin and then chop my head off.

  10. Xerdar
    January 15, 2016, 3:59 pm | # | Reply

    So… They are dead? lol

    • MidnightDStroyer
      November 16, 2016, 8:02 pm | # | Reply

      Well, having been separated from her Holy Blade for so long, it needed to be rededicated for its purpose. So Jone had to perform the baptism in blood again…

  11. Pyre
    January 15, 2016, 4:30 pm | # | Reply

    "How Jone Got her Sword Back."

  12. Dee
    January 15, 2016, 7:29 pm | # | Reply

    Jone of Orc… You may thank my darling spouse for this bad joke, assuming it has not been used before.

    • Ørjan
      January 15, 2016, 10:35 pm | # | Reply

      Alas, not a chance. Most likely she was *named* for that pun.

      • thebibliomancer
        January 16, 2016, 5:11 am | # | Reply

        I just got the volume 5 book yesterday and yup, she was named for that pun. Also, originally inspired by Heather Dale’s Joan song which is neat.

      • Guesticus
        January 16, 2016, 10:52 am | # | Reply

        Yup: "Jone Half-Orc" is similar sounding as "Jone of Arc (or Orc)"

    • 3Xp4t
      January 17, 2016, 5:21 am | # | Reply

      Literally, has been the running gag for Jone since (at least) 13 January 2010. So, yeah. Somewhat in use for six full years now. Was probably the entire concept behind her character before she even appeared in the Bloodfire arc, 2009.

  13. Red Reaper Lala
    January 15, 2016, 9:25 pm | # | Reply

    I was so wrapped up in her arc the first time around that this didn’t cross my mind. So Jone has the Orc-ish wargift and human adaptability and the limiters in her brain don’t work. Okay. Now she has mortal limits. We’re all Doomed-deshi! Doomed!Welp at least she’ll take Ranna with us.

  14. Bad Taiming
    January 15, 2016, 10:08 pm | # | Reply

    Jone the Revenant is on the mission all she needs is her weapon. Followers are for the weak.

  15. ArchTeryx
    January 15, 2016, 11:00 pm | # | Reply

    Yeah, definitely Death Knight.

  16. EvilMidnightLurker
    January 15, 2016, 11:29 pm | # | Reply

    Wow. Blood dripping from the *ceiling* all the way to just outside the entrance of the cave? That must be one hell of a crime scene.

    • Guesticus
      January 16, 2016, 10:49 am | # | Reply

      Obviously a lot more than just the four we saw in panel the first

    • scarecrowd
      January 17, 2016, 8:42 pm | # | Reply

      Yeah, this kind of scenes is a "trademark" of <strikethrough> good </strikethrough> EVIL old YAFGC)))

  17. Externica
    January 16, 2016, 11:26 am | # | Reply

    Well, suprise, surprise.
    That’s trouble. Big trouble.

  18. A Time Traveling Necrodancer
    January 16, 2016, 1:57 pm | # | Reply

    And here we see a case of Retarded Evil, the most common of evils it is able to be confused for Chaotic Evil most of the time, the way that it is not- is that Chaotic Evil will often times prefer a cult over murdering everything. Just a friendly PSA, be chaotic, not retarded!

    From your Friendly Neighborhood Necrodancer

    • Guesticus
      January 16, 2016, 8:37 pm | # | Reply

      Well you need to understand: Jone never started that cult, Gilda formed that cult formed using her name and used her as the figurehead

      • AlyxVixen
        January 16, 2016, 8:41 pm | # | Reply

        If I remember correctly, Jone was kinda embarrassed that a Cult had sprung up around her in the beginning.

        • Guesticus
          January 16, 2016, 11:02 pm | # | Reply

          And now she is ending the cult, the only way she enjoys 😀

  19. Grey
    January 17, 2016, 1:45 am | # | Reply

    Ok, that was way more satisfying than I expected that it would be.

    I don’t think her cult was evil (at least in the more "D&D" kind of evil) but more of misguided and obliviously blind to the obvious evil that Jone was, to the point that even if Jone ate the head of a orphan in front of them, they would still think of her as a being good, and it’s pretty clear that even Gilda herself believed every part of it too.

    • Guesticus
      January 17, 2016, 7:23 pm | # | Reply

      No, don’t believe the cult nor Jone herself were ‘evil’: the girls (minus Gilda) believed in ‘freeing women’, and Jone just wanted to be left alone and be a blacksmith

      And of course Gilda believed every part of it, she was the one who basically started it all. Makes me wonder if she even ever had real psychic abilities, or was simply a kobold like Fang (ie, a raving nutter)

    • Bad Taiming
      January 18, 2016, 3:59 am | # | Reply

      Jone is not evil wicked yes but not evil.
      She was made into a weapon of her god. He might have been a orc but he was not dumb.
      I think he seen Ranna destroying him and Jone is his revenge.

    • WJS
      November 13, 2023, 9:20 pm | # | Reply

      Of course they were evil. They worshipped a mass-murdering psycho and their core tenets were killing all men and all women who wouldn't join them.

  20. scarecrowd
    January 17, 2016, 8:38 pm | # | Reply

    Now Ranna has a mouthful of s##t, I suppose. But wait, everyone does have it as well. Oh s## 0_0

  21. Elfguy
    February 1, 2023, 4:49 pm | # | Reply

    Ranna is sure going to be surprised the first time she tries to order Jone around. That didn’t work out too well for Grumsh, after all.

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