I actually had something very similar happen in a monster campaign. The player decided to try and munchkin the rules in order to use their vampire’s blood drain ability to severely weaken an elder red dragon. Apparently they weren’t listening when I warned them that if they munchkined, the DM would munchkin right back.
Well, they rolled a nat 20 to hit. I told them, "Congrats, your fangs miraculously find a gap in the dragon’s scales and you latch onto an artery. The dragon’s heart pumps once: your entire digestive tract in filled with blood. The dragon flexes in annoyance, trapping your fangs in the dragon’s flesh." They elected to keep draining. "The dragon’s heart beats a second time. Your body, already overloaded, begins to swell like an engorged tick." Incredibly, they still didn’t take the hint. "The dragon’s heart beats a third time. You pop like an overfilled water balloon. You are dead." They attempted to complain. I referred them to the size comparison chart in the DM’s Guide. Then I reminded them what happens to a mosquito if you flex so it can’t get away. They started rolling a new toon.
Kinda depends where the mosquito is and which muscle you flex, but barring that, if you understand where your veins are, you can squeeze a surge of blood through the area where the bug is feeding and turn a slow passive trickle into a relative fire-hose-like surge. They’re tiny; their capacity is limited; they are not prepared for a sudden increase in the bloodflow and cannot detach quickly enough. Their stomach-equivalents swell beyond capacity and burst apart.
Mind you, this leaves you with a bug head and stinger still inserted in your skin, and that itching that you start to feel only after they leave is going to be more intense and last longer because the stinger is still in there. You may need some tweezers to fully remove it.
Reminds me of a munchkin from when I played VtM. Long story short: Camarilla prick tried to pull a fast one and Dominate my lower-generation Anarch character in the local Anarch bar. Which was Elysium. Cue me slapping him up and then keeping the other Anarchs from lynching him as I dragged his ass to the city’s Prince and informing them of the breach. Munchkin says "But you’re Anarch! You don’t believe you’re in the Camarilla!"
Me: "But the Camarilla claims the Anarchs as a splinter faction and thus constantly uses breach of Camarilla Laws as justification to hound us. In this case. And even with the animosity between my people and yours, MINE are smart enough to not violate neutrality. Even the Sabbat aren’t so stupid."
DM as the NPC Prince of the City: "Indeed… Anarch, you are infuriating as an enemy, but you are correct. His existence is forfeit."
I usually did not try to derail the D&D sessions I was part of in 8th grade on purpose (you could say that I was sort of like Capt. Fang, except for the stupidity), however at a certain point I did try to mess with our DM’s punishments when we (mostly me) did derail things (like deciding that I managed to completely avoid the falling projectile, which just caused the DM to either make an infinite amount of those projectiles that destroyed the world, or an enormous one that was unavoidable due to its sheer size (like the size of the continent).
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Love how you can see her skeleton
I actually had something very similar happen in a monster campaign. The player decided to try and munchkin the rules in order to use their vampire’s blood drain ability to severely weaken an elder red dragon. Apparently they weren’t listening when I warned them that if they munchkined, the DM would munchkin right back.
Well, they rolled a nat 20 to hit. I told them, "Congrats, your fangs miraculously find a gap in the dragon’s scales and you latch onto an artery. The dragon’s heart pumps once: your entire digestive tract in filled with blood. The dragon flexes in annoyance, trapping your fangs in the dragon’s flesh." They elected to keep draining. "The dragon’s heart beats a second time. Your body, already overloaded, begins to swell like an engorged tick." Incredibly, they still didn’t take the hint. "The dragon’s heart beats a third time. You pop like an overfilled water balloon. You are dead." They attempted to complain. I referred them to the size comparison chart in the DM’s Guide. Then I reminded them what happens to a mosquito if you flex so it can’t get away. They started rolling a new toon.
Wait wait wait, what is this about flexing to affect a mosquito? I’ve never heard of that.
Kinda depends where the mosquito is and which muscle you flex, but barring that, if you understand where your veins are, you can squeeze a surge of blood through the area where the bug is feeding and turn a slow passive trickle into a relative fire-hose-like surge. They’re tiny; their capacity is limited; they are not prepared for a sudden increase in the bloodflow and cannot detach quickly enough. Their stomach-equivalents swell beyond capacity and burst apart.
Mind you, this leaves you with a bug head and stinger still inserted in your skin, and that itching that you start to feel only after they leave is going to be more intense and last longer because the stinger is still in there. You may need some tweezers to fully remove it.
Reminds me of a munchkin from when I played VtM. Long story short: Camarilla prick tried to pull a fast one and Dominate my lower-generation Anarch character in the local Anarch bar. Which was Elysium. Cue me slapping him up and then keeping the other Anarchs from lynching him as I dragged his ass to the city’s Prince and informing them of the breach. Munchkin says "But you’re Anarch! You don’t believe you’re in the Camarilla!"
Me: "But the Camarilla claims the Anarchs as a splinter faction and thus constantly uses breach of Camarilla Laws as justification to hound us. In this case. And even with the animosity between my people and yours, MINE are smart enough to not violate neutrality. Even the Sabbat aren’t so stupid."
DM as the NPC Prince of the City: "Indeed… Anarch, you are infuriating as an enemy, but you are correct. His existence is forfeit."
Munchkin: *Surprised Pikachu face*
"In this case, you violated your own laws"*
I really shouldn’t be typing comments late at night with several drams of distilled spirits in my system…
I usually did not try to derail the D&D sessions I was part of in 8th grade on purpose (you could say that I was sort of like Capt. Fang, except for the stupidity), however at a certain point I did try to mess with our DM’s punishments when we (mostly me) did derail things (like deciding that I managed to completely avoid the falling projectile, which just caused the DM to either make an infinite amount of those projectiles that destroyed the world, or an enormous one that was unavoidable due to its sheer size (like the size of the continent).
>SNORT<
Yeah, my poor Vampire VS. Tiamat…
Man GM can have a weird sense of humor whey you try to pull a fast one on them.
I’ve read this comic several times through. To me, this remains the most disturbing image. Brrr!
What is disturbing about it?
not questioning your right to find it disturbing, just wondering what about it is